Little Monkey has hijacked the blog today, to share with you his guide to potty training.
Hello, Little Monkey here! Ok, so between you and I, I’ve actually had this potty training thing nailed for a while. But I’m not gonna tell her that, because there’s something secretly satisfying about being able to wee in my nappy whenever and wherever I choose.
But I do love mummy’s enthusiasm for the whole use-the-potty obsession, and when I throw her a bone and actually use it properly, she gets all excited and gives me a sticker. Weirdo.
So here’s my guide to potty training:
1. Lay the foundations: we both know you can do it – you’ve been watching the grown-ups do it for months – but don’t play all your cards in one go. Show interest and practice sitting on your potty. It gives the grown-ups a feeling of achievement and the praise is a great boost for he ego.
2. Be prepared: before embarking on a trip to the potty, make sure you have the essentials in in place. I recommend a toilet seat, booster step, toy wheel barrow (the real ones are a little cumbersome to carry around), a frying pan full of wooden screws, your tool box (just in case) and your clothes in a nice heap in the floor. Which bring me nicely to point three…
3. Life is better naked: that’s right, I’ve realised that there’s nothing more liberating than using your potty with nothing on. In fact, this is so important to me that I insist on getting totally naked every time I want to go to toilet. This seems to frustrate mummy sometimes but she’s probably just jealous that she can’t strip off too.
4. Live dangerously: in the early days, when you’re in grown-up pants and still figuring out when you need the loo, don’t be afraid to sit on the sofa. Be bold. Take control of that bladder. And if you accidentally wee all over mummy’s french-grey sofa with the fancy cushions, so be it. She should have gone for leather.
5. Feel the fear and poo it anyway: once you’ve nailed the wee’s, don’t be afraid to dream big and go for a no.2.Literally. Once you’ve cracked this, there’s no turning back. And she with the stickers will go wild.