10 Things I’m Totally Amazing At.

awards4Since becoming a parent, I’ve found that you learn to master some pretty impressive skills. Survival skills, some might say. Nothing that you could put on a CV, you understand, but they are totally awesome nevertheless and deserved to be recognised anyway.

So here are my top 10 Things I’m Totally Amazing At (even if I do say so myself):

1. Being able to retrieve a lost dummy from a bed in the middle of the night, in the dark, with one eye closed; all in under 3 seconds. And quite often, all done before I fully  realise I’m up and awake.

2. Recognising the ‘poo-face’ and pre-empting the mad dash to the loo, even before my son realises he needs to go. I know, impressive.

3. Spotting the ever-so discreet I-need-a-wee-but I’m-not-going-to-acknowledge-it dance. Similar results to point #2.

4. Lying to my child without batting an eyelid:

“What are you eating mummy?”
“A Banana” {mouth full of chocolate).

“Can I have that last piece of cake mummy?”
“I’m afraid not darling, it fell on the floor and now it’s all dirty.”

At the park and the nearby church bell rings… “What’s that sound mummy?”
“Oh no, that’s the bell to say that the park’s closing. We’d better get going…”

5. Impromptu costume creation – my son loves to perform. Everyday we are acting something out and when we haven’t got the props to match the Oscar-worthy performance that’s unfolding, then we’re in for meltdowns of epic proportions. So I’ve learnt to be creative in seconds. You need a cape? You got it. You want wings? No problem. A dragon that breathes out fire? Sure. {Ok the last one was tricky but I did it}.

6. Answering 1,000 questions a day – yes, this is a skill. When you’re onto your 100th ‘why?’ by 7am, it’s most definitely considered a skill. And before you ask – because it is, ok?

7. Being a ‘bad man’ – we’re all about superheros and villains in this house and I can confidently say that I have nailed this part. The words, “I’m gonna get you Spiderman!” will be forever etched into my subconscious.

8. Baby-wiping a child down within 3 seconds – no matter how messy they are, I can confidently say that I can remove food, paint, and any miscellaneous/unexplained dirt from face and hands quicker than you can say, “I’m gonna get you Spiderman!”. This skill also extends to other people’s children/adults/work colleagues if so required.

9. Navigating the creaky floorboards on the landing in the pitch black like a stealth-ninja. Anyone with sleeping babies understand the value of this skill.

10. Fooling the adult world that my brain still fully functions after two children, continually-disrupted sleep and baby-brain syndrome that just won’t quite disappear. I’m often saying the right words, but inside my head is dancing to its own tune {quite often something from CBeebies}, I’m working out what still needs to be done from the endless to-to list and more often that not, I’m simply dreaming of my bed.

You Baby Me Mummy
Friday Frolics

13 thoughts on “10 Things I’m Totally Amazing At.

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