Except he did it. Loud and clear. In the hallway, just as we got in after a long day, amidst the hustle and bustle of getting coats and shoes off. I was just dumping the fifty bags we somehow seemed to have accumulated (even though we only left the house with three this morning) and I heard,
“This bloody thing!”
Er, what did my three-and-a-half year old just say?! Ok, so it’s not the worst word in the world, but it’s still a word that I didn’t want to hear slip across my child’s lips! He obviously liked the sound of it, because the onslaught to my ears continued, “This bloody thing, this bloody fish, yeah, yeah, bloody….”
Gaaah, stop, my ears, my ears!
“Where did you hear that word baby?” I tried to sound casual, but wanted to rip the word out of the air and sanitise his innocent little mouth.
“It’s a big-boy word, it’s just for grown-ups.”
You’re bloody right it is!!!
“Yes it is, it’s not a nice word, where did you hear it?”
He thought for a moment. “Daddy said it.”
Oh did he now? Well I’ll bloody well be having words with daddy tonight.
“Well you mustn’t say it darling, it’s naughty…”
Which of course incited a chorus of “this bloody thing, bloody, bloody bloody…”
I panicked. What do I do?! I don’t want to make a huge issue out of it, but I need him to know it’s wrong. Oh, just bloody well stop saying it!
So I did the only thing I could think of. I distracted him with a biscuit.
Yup, well parented, me.
Oh bloody hell.